i think i have two assholes
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
