Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I would fuck him just for his dog
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
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