I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
