from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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