Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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