I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Randomize
