So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
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