so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
