were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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