Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize