if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
