South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
You are a genius and a whore.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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