Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
