Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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