U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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