dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
