Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
