I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Randomize
