Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I haven't been this sober since birth.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
