I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
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