oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Rumble strips road head = magical
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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