Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
