How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
