no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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