it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
