: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
