Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
