Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
