Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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