your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
