I could make wine with my vomit
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Randomize
