What did we do last night that was yellow?
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
