What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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