im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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