Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Randomize