Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
