After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
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