We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
