Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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