I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Randomize
