I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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