ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Randomize
