WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
