Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
