Nicole vs. Life
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
