so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
