so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
