Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
