Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
