$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Randomize
