id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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