Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
