btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
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